HELP MY UNBELIEF

I built a fence then shut the gate,

I sealed and barred the doors,

I checked each window yet again,

Then curled up on the floor.

I wanted neither neighbor,

Nor friend, nor family,

To share my pain and bitterness,

And offer sympathy.

My sullen pride I nurtured,

My wounded heart I nursed,

My stricken spirit cowered,

Believing I was cursed.

I fought the many specters,

Of a past once steeped in sin,

Well-deserved my desolation,

And the loss of peace within.

Capricious as quicksilver,

The promise of my youth,

Was gone before I savored it,

Just like the morning dew.

I lost my childlike innocence,

Dreams spun from fairy gold,

Were ground to dust and ashes,

Reality was cold.

I long to have a Savior,

I long to have redress,

I long for new beginnings,

I long for happiness.

I do not know the Father,

I know little of His Son,

How then can I be pardoned, 

For all the wrongs I've done?

All I need to do they say,

Is kneel to Him and pray,

"Lord Jesus, please forgive me,

Wash all my sins away."

Lack of faith and grievous sins,

Have brought me endless grief,

If You can hear me, Lord, I beg You, 

Help my unbelief!

Myra D'Souza - 1st November 2009 /

Revisited 20th February 2021

A TIME OF GRACE

 

This is the time,
There’ll never be another
Quite like it.
An unfamiliar,
Most peculiar,
Mystifying time.
Come, let’s you and I
Take a moment to reflect,
On why just such a time
Is given to us now.

A time anew is here,
For dauntless courage,
And for hope,
And when this moment
Too has passed
Into the realm of memory,
Perhaps we’ll find
The world a kinder place,
Where the gentle dew of grace
Once again imbues our soul.


Myra D’Souza / 29 JAN 2021

A MODERN DAY PETER

I grew in age not wisdom,

In the spirit of the world,

Blithely following the pack,

Part of the sinful herd.
And all the while He pursued me,
From  open wounds that bled, 
When people asked if I knew Him,
Denying Him I fled.

I married and had children,
And strange now tho' it seems,
Professing to be Catholic,

I ignored truths He esteems. 
Tho' the rooster crowed incessantly,

I could not meet His gaze,

I'd denied Him far too often

To look upon His Face

Yet ardently He pursued me,

At times I’d hoped He’d win,

For truthfully I must confess,

I’d wearied of my sins.

My hour did come as Peter’s did,
O hour of wondrous grace,

God won, at last, He held me fast, 

I'm home in His embrace.

-Myra D’Souza, 07 March 2018 / 06/04/2020

AN ALLEGORY FOR SIN - LUKE 5:12-15, Mk 1;40, Mt. 8:2

The leper limped his way
before the Lord,

He was a mass of putrefying flesh,

Revolting and disgusting.

A choking, reeking stench emanates.

Sickened to my stomach,

I almost retch and shudder,

As I look away.

My reaction is,

Bereft of love,

Bereft of charity.

I hear a gasp,

The crowd dumbfounded,

Is aghast at the approach,

Of the wretched man,

Who dropping to the ground,

Begins to cry,

 “Lord, if You will,

You can make me clean.”

His distress aroused 

Compassion,
In the tender heart of God

Where mercy overflows.

The leper dared to hope,
When he beheld the Lord

And God in turn did touch

The seething mass of dying flesh

And said “I will. Be healed!”

,

Forthwith he’s whole again,

But just his body.
Not his soul.

The miracle 
Is incomplete,

Until he stands before a priest,

Who will declare him free 
Of the disease.

This will seal the work

God has begun.

I too did reek of sin,

And leprous was my soul,

Until I fell upon my knees,

And I confessed,

“Bless me father, I have sinned.”

Mercy overflowed,

God healed me and restored

All I had lost.

Absolved in Jesus’ Name

My soul is clean again,

My Lord has made me whole.

-Myra D'Souza 
March 07, 2018

BEGINNING ANEW

BEGINNING ANEW

Open my lips to sing your praise,

Open my heart as my hands I raise,

Remove all blemish of sin’s dark trace,

And flood my poor soul with merciful grace.

Hasten my Lord to sweetly console,

To mend what is broken, and to make whole,

I vow to submit and yield all control,

To Your Holy Spirit enthroned in my soul.

Long have I wandered in perilous night,

Weakened by sin and its deadly blight,

Come Lord again and fill me with light,

Have pity on me, be moved by my plight.

Draw me out from the miry depths,

Blot every trace of sin’s dire effects,

Restored unto grace I now acquiesce,

Conform my weak will to Your holy precepts.

Myra D’Souza – 9 March 2017

DESECRATION

To all who have been wounded by the scourge of abortion be assured that you will find hope, peace and healing in the beautiful Sacrament of Reconciliation

How long will we continue,
To look at them as trash,
Dump them in the garbage,
Or watch them burn to ash.
Their cries rise to crescendo,
The silence fills the air,
Their screams are halted midway,
Convulsing in despair.

Our wombs once a safe haven,
Are a sanctuary lost,
These little ones are savaged,
In an endless holocaust.
We dare not dwell too deeply,
Lest we disbelieve the lie,
They are just lumps of tissues,
Babies do not die.

Evil masked in sanity,
Strikes with brutal rage,
Misleading foolish victims,
With the mantra of the age.
Self is now the idol,
Where we worship without shame,
We care not who we sacrifice,
In this gruesome game.

We’ve lost these little treasures,
By heeding ill advice,
And now we grieve in secret,
Aware we’ve been unwise.
God knows that we are wounded,
He sees the hurt within,
He alone can heal us,
Let’s ask to be forgiven.

Myra D’Souza / 20th October 2010

Psalm 139:14
"I  praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

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LOVE RECONCILES - Sacrament Of Reconciliation

20 Then a woman who had suffered from a severe bleeding for twelve years came up from behind and touched the edge of his cloak. 21 For she thought, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.” 22 Jesus turned, saw her and said, “Cour­age, my daughter, your faith has saved you.” And from that moment the woman was cured. - Matthew 9:20-23

Timidly I approach,

My heartbeat crescendos

Deafening my ears.

Aware of my sin stained soul

I fall on my knees seeking mercy

Beseeching You to bless me.

You do.

And I confess.

Trembling, I touch the  tassels of Your cloak

That seamless garment of love

Woven with pity and compassion

And once again grace imbues my soul.

Healed in mind, body and spirit

I am whole.

Fear dissolves, melting into sorrow

For having wounded You

Whom I love best.

Unbidden, tears wet my cheek

I firmly resolve with Your  help

To never sin again.

The Voice that spoke

Two thousand years ago

Speaks again those blessed words

Restoring me to grace,

 “Go in peace, your sins are forgiven.”

Grace wells, drawn from Living Streams,

Suffused,

I glow

In the warmth of Your benediction.

Myra D’Souza / 6^th July 2011

I KNOW NOT WHY

Who can fathom why the Savior loves me?
Why He willed to die to set me free?
I’ve oft’ committed treason,
So tell me what’s the reason,
He gave His life for me on Calvary?

Once I skulked in dark, unpleasant places,
All God's holy angels hid their faces,

Losing grace once mine,
I wallowed with the swine,
While He sweat great drops of blood for me.
I confess I’ve sinned - I know I’m worthless,
None but He thought I deserved redress,
My shame and fall from grace,
Were swept without a trace,
When He was lifted high upon the tree.
I am pledged to Him, I’m His unfettered,
His alone who for my sins atoned,
The love that I once spurned,
Is humbly now returned,
The King says I am His eternally.

Myra D’Souza/23 November 2010

Myra D'Souza / 23 November 2010

FALLING SHORT

I have often failed and faltered,

In my journey with the Lord.

When tempted, I have fallen prey to sin.

My weaknesses are legion,

My nature’s frail and flawed,

To conquer, grace must emanate within.

Ungracious, stern and haughty,

I had a prideful  heart.

Forgiven often yet I chose to be,

Bereft of all compassion,

To those who failed like me,

I lacked a Christ-like generosity.

With ease I magnified the faults,

Of strangers, kith and kin,

Heedless of the log impeding light,

Blind, I scorned to follow,

The narrow way until,

God graciously restored my failing sight.

I had to climb Mount Calvary,

Clinging to the Cross,

The genesis of healing to my soul,

All pride, heart break has shattered,

I understand at last,

Christ alone has power to make whole.

Myra D’Souza / 10 June 2010

THE RETURN

Take my lukewarm heart O Lord
And fan the dying flames,
Let your Spirit once again
My selfish spirit claim.

I’ve stayed away from You too long,
I yearn now to return,
To feel again the love that I,
So recklessly did spurn.

I’ve spent my days indulging
In selfishness and strife,
I now confess I’ve been a mess,
Without You in my life.

I’ve fallen often yet Your love,
For me has never dimmed,
You do not keep a count of all
The ways in which I’ve sinned.

You hold me like the Prodigal
I lean against your breast,
What bliss I’ve known since I came home
And found in you my rest.


Myra D’souza
17.9.2000